Living, Loving, & Learning one day at a time

[Treese]

Hey Breton...thanks for the advice....

I do not ever say anything negative about my H in front of my S11...I know son is hurting, people have mentioned his moods to me when he is with them....I don't talk about H w my son at all unless something comes up about him....and then I let him talk openly about his dad...it sinks to the core of my soul but I do suck it up...I know my son knows that his dad hurt me, which is my guess why S11 won't mention anything about what he does with his dad...and I don't ask...what they do is their own thing...it's just that I don't think he should spend the night at the OP house until we are divorced...it's not right...taking him around her for an event is one thing but spending the night at HER home is another...he put my son in a bad position...H thinks it's healthy and ok....I don't....I think it's sick...

I am learning to hold things inside and I am upset that H doesnt have a relationship with his girls...that truly tears my heart up, especially since they were so close...if I try to talk to my girls about talking to their dad they get mad at me and say I'm defending him...I'm not but I don't want them to regret it down the road...yes, he is still their dad but his is 100% a different person than he was and my girls do like it and are apprehensive to have a relationship with someone they don't feel like they know...they are adults, they understand....I let them make their own choices...good or bad....it's theirs to make....not mine...the problem is is that my girls know what I did during the marriage, how I took care of everything, sacrificed for my family....they feel I've been wronged...but I'm trying to move forward...a super hard thing to do...putting 30 years behind you is difficult...

As a matter of fact, I was watching TV this morning and lionel richie was on talking about his song, 3 times a lady...well, that was the song my H dedicated to me on our wedding day...we danced to that song and I shut my eyes and I could picture the dance like it was yesterday....and I cried...then I let it go...it's a memory I will forever have imbeded in my mind...but just that...a memory....I will always love my H and I do tell my children that...for without him I would not have 3 wonderful children...for that I am thankful...what the future holds we don't know but for now, I am surviving...and I have a daughter getting married...Wow!!
What more can I ask for at this time...

(((hugs)))

Treese