Not sure what it was about yesterday but I was down too. And I had been doing so well, I thought. It was weird because I was pretty busy-breakfast out with family to celebrate my Dad's birthday, some shopping with my sister, then in the evening a little meet and greet at an organization where I am going to start volunteering. Met some very cool people, was invited to a happy hour the following week...
So I had all this stuff going on-you'd think I'd feel good. But instead, I felt the loneliness all day long. By evening, I just felt really sad, despite my struggle to regain PMA, and I found myself thinking, Ok, I'm trying. I'm improving myself, my life, for me. But I still miss my H. I'm so mad/sad that he "needs" to tear apart the life that we had together. There was so much good in that life! And it wasn't just me who used to say so!
Anyway, I guess these down days are just part of the whole "gift" of the experience. Sorry, feeling a bit cynical. I know things will get better, regardless of what direction life takes me/us. But I still sometimes feel like whinning, I wanna go home.
Orchid, I'm sorry to hear about your Dad's biopsy results. I'm glad the MD's are planning to act aggressively. I will keep him in my prayers.
Me 30 H 33 together:10 years married:5 years Separated: 1/23/09 living apart 5 mos and counting "when you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on"-FDR
