Thx all. I was pretty nervous beforehand that I wouldn't be able to handle it, but it went pretty well! Reflecting today, I realize that I may very well end up divorced which will stink. But, I know I'll be okay. Strong moments today when I felt very sad about this and taking it very personally. Y'know, thoughts like my H doesn't want to be married to me, what's wrong with me, why doesn't he want to even try & work on the R/M. But, I keep coming back to H's comments and emotions last night. It's progress. Even if we get D, I imagine we'll be friendly. But hopefully it won't happen. If I keep working on myself and give H the space and time he needs, only God knows what could happen!
So, improving myself... as you noted, Antlers, this is very important. I've challenged myself in some ways, but I think I can stretch myself much further. No concrete thoughts on this yet, but I'm thinking about this. Secondly, showing love for my beloved... I guess I'm showing love by respecting his space and needs. Being loving in my communications. But there's more to consider in this area too - without pursuing. Something to chew on!
Ok, 25mlc, I agree - no pursuing, stay mysterious. Do things I enjoy, things we used to do together that I'd giving up, and who knows what can happen. I'm going rafting next weekend which is a big GAL activity for me. Not a commercial trip - just rafting with friends, one of whom is a former guide, so it's safe. I rafted before H and I met, and I took him on a trip early in our R with my friends. I think he admired my adventure side early on.. somewhere along the way I lost that when the kids started needing more time/attention with sports, school, etc. This trip will be with mutual friends so H will hear about it. More importantly, I love being on the river. Especially love overnight trips where we camp along the riverbank and get back in the boats in the morning to float further... it'll be awesome!! Yes, Antlers, Colorado is truly beautiful. I'm so glad to live here!
Tmrw, I'm playing tennis with a friend and having another buddy over for pizza on the grille. So, I'll try to keep busy and keep my PMA going strong.
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Be interested and interesting...b/c you are a woman only a fool would leave....)
Wow! I don't know if I'm there yet, but I'd agree H is being foolish...! I am a work in progress, but getting stronger by the day. Thank God and this board, and my friends and family for that strength!
I am a work in progress, but getting stronger by the day. Thank God and this board, and my friends and family for that strength! 
