Hi, Kara- Funny, I just posted on suggestions/advice on how to do the detachment/DB-ing thing with the WAS still living under the same roof. It sounds like you are doing it WELL!:)
I've never been to Prague but I am sure you're going to tell me why you asked that one:)
Hi Trusting,
It can be very hard sometimes. But it does get easier as the days go on. It has been along journey here.I was down on the floor crying many a night in the beginning. Took a lot of prayers, God's grace,reading a kazillion books, all the posts on this website, all the success stories. It was like I was studying for an exam at first.LOL. But it spoke to me and I am trying my best.
I've never been to Prague but I am sure you're going to tell me why you asked that one:)
Oh, just me being ridiculous. I met a girl in Prague when I was traveling half a million years ago. We hung out and had the best time and then parted ways. Her name was Kara...it was a long shot.
BTW- you seem to be doing really well. The wedding ring thing was so devastating to me. Eventually I took mine off, still doesn't feel quite right.
Yep, the ring thing is a major downer but what can I do? He is still chatting away and joking with me as we speak and I'm smiling and doing the same. Ye gads!
I am always looking for success stories on this forum. They seem few and far between when it comes to MLC. You sound like you are doing so well, though, and good for you for not commenting on the ring!
The DB books were very helpful at the very start. Then the other usual ones - the Five Love Languages, Love as a Way of Life (both by Gary Chapman). The one that helped best is Secrets of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian. This helped dissolve a lot of anger because even if you do NOT feel like it at first, when you start to pray for someone you cannot be angry at them. It is a good way of saving yourself from destructive anger. I have an explosive temper and can eat myself up with anger so I needed this. My H started to be more friendly after I started praying good things FOR him.
I read a bunch of books which were NOT helpful at first and compounded my pursuing. Books that talked about writing letters saying how much you loved your spouse etc. Yech!!!
Had an unproductive day because I was still a little knocked out after noticing that he was not wearing his ring. I had to work through that and face the implications. I was emotional this morning but by the end of the day I realised it is not the end of the world. Life goes on, God is still God. His promises do not change. My problems are in his inbox. And he is working 24 hours a day. Being human I get moments of doubt and a little despair, dare I say. But I feel good tonight and hope that tomorrow goes better.
Last night I rearranged our bedroom and made it more my space. I removed a piece of furniture he had and added some candles, throw cushions etc. I feel it sends a little outward message that I am moving on. I like these little chess moves at times!
Thanks for your suggestions, Kara. I actually have the praying wife book and have used it but stopped for awhile (and picked up the praying parent one, thinking of moving my focus more on the kids) but I'm sure it wouldn't hurt to pick it up again!:)
I was actually doing the Love Dare book when the bomb happened because for awhile I could sense something wasn't right. It is all the wrong stuff, too, for this situation - the pursuing, etc. I think it would be great for couples wanting to fine tune and work on the marriage, but not in this case. However, I will say that it was a blessing having done that because it had taken away a lot of the anger I already was feeling with the way I was being treated and helped me realize love is an action which is helping me now.
Has he said anything about the ring? Isn't it crazy how these things can really knock us for a loop? Does he see the bedroom to notice you have made changes?
Keep hanging on to God's promises. Will pray for you!
H has gone on a trip and has not contacted me since he left even to say that he has arrived safely. This was very disappointing since we spent a lot of quality time together in the two days before he left. We laughed, talked a lot (no R talk), looked at each other (really looked),on one occasion we laughed and joked for about an entire hour. Then he is gone and NOTHING. I suspected this would happen. But he knows by now that I will not contact him, so we will see.
They always pull away after you get close.
This made me a bit despondent. It is so hard to understand this behaviour and although I say I will not try to analyse it I LET myself fall back into the trap.
So today I was feeling kind of down and I went to run an errand he had asked me to do for him. As I was entering the store, I had made up my mind to pay the minimum payment on the bill because I was asking myself why should I be nice to him but then I felt like God was saying to me to be kind and make double the payment. I made more than double the payment and as I was leaving the store an employee got up from her deak and picked up a book ,on the cover of which was written GOD IS IN CONTROL. I know some will scoff at this but it was as timely a reminder from God as I have ever seen. Yesterday afternoon I entered a bookstore and the title of the first book I saw jumped out at me in bold blue letters NEVER GIVE UP.
I know I have seen others post that similar things happen to them and as I always say, you are free to believe or not believe. But I thought those two things were awesome!!
