How are you dealing with the pain? You are so my hero. I am bracing myself for another bomb, as my wife does not seam to be having any revelations concerning our relationships and that she was in that part of the country where the OM is..she said she was not going to see him so I trust her, but she was in a church praying about us. I don't think she has any good news judging by her voice. She was married once before and was unhappy, so she cheated on her husband to get out of the relationship, then I am trying to keep hope, but I feel my world crushing around me. I have that feeling of extreme anxiety, very tough, and not a comforting feeling at the moment.
ME 43 Her 37 Married 6/98 2 sons 8 and 3 Love em tons Seperated March 20th Her- not sure Me willing to make changes
First thing you need to do is to stop thinking of the OM. Yes he's in the picture, but there's nothing you can do about it. Heck, my W WORKS with her OM.
So first thing I did was set up a boundary. I told her that if she was going to chase after her OM, then I would make sure she would never see her kids EVER again. I was so disgusted. It was her boss after all. Then I kicked her out of the house.
That stopped her actively chasing after him, but it didn't stop her from wanting a D. After 6 months away, she came back for domestic reasons (you can read it through my sitch) and needless to say, I've DB'd to the point where we are friendly roommates. Now given how we were a year ago, I would have never imagined she'd be friendly to me again. She even told me that she was "afraid" of me and that she was going to call the cops on me. I had never lost my temper or been physical with her in our 17 year R and "suddenly" she was afraid of me. Oh please.
First thing you need to do is get the power back from your W and get it back for you. Be the man you were when you first M. Be the leader. Stand strong, confident and sure of yourself.
Check out my thread and you'll see all my mistakes and progress.
Good luck man.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Thanks, but her parents were going to come here for a visit, and since I could not afford to send her away on her own, her parents fit the bill for her to come with the kids, I had to work, with no babysitting arrangement, she wanted to take the kids, to visit Grandma and Grandpa instead. She assured me that the OM..which she is confused about did not want to see her, and that she was ok. I saw an email from the OM and he said that he did not want to get in the way of our family, and that it was not a good idea for them to meet. So I know a little more about the OM. I still think that she tried to see him to see if there was anything, I guess I am not so trusting, but I have to trust her, I can tell that she is saddened to leave CA from talking to her. I have tried to create a peaceful environment for her to return to, and am looking forward to seeing her and the kids. When you are alone like this for a while your mind can play tricks on you, your fears can become obsessions, I guess this is natural, My fear at the moment is that she is going to drop another bomb. But she has been honest about every thing from the beginning, so I have to trust her.
ME 43 Her 37 Married 6/98 2 sons 8 and 3 Love em tons Seperated March 20th Her- not sure Me willing to make changes
