GETTING UN'STUCK'

[MrBond]

Greek,

Hmmm. I get what you're saying. So in other words, you saw the changes and took a while for you to see if the changes were real.

I guess in my sitch, there were so many random things that she said was wrong with me (most not true), I was trying to change EVERYTHING. Even now, I second guess myself in wondering if a change I'm doing now is what was wrong in the first place.

Many of the WASs here have literally told their spouses what was wrong with them and the R. My W, not so much. She really doesn't like talking about what's going on in her head even before the bomb. It's like guessing what's in a gift box just from the sound of it.

Thank you for your answers though.

[jaguilar]

No problem Stuck.

You can only help those that want help and do something about it. After awhile...it becomes wasted effort.

I'm praying too.

Coack and Greek sound like my sitch. There is some great advice here.

[MrBond]

Greek,

Out of curiosity, some have recommended dating other women. If Coach had done that, would you have gone back? Or did you know he was still trying to get you back and the changes were being done because of that.

[MrBond]

jaguilar,

Yeah I hear you although I do pray that he succeeds like the rest of us. I think you met him in person?

[MrBond]

So tonight, we're going to an orientation for my D's summer school. Afterwards just grabbing something to eat before heading home.

Last night we were lying in bed watching Top Chef just relaxing. I moved in close to her to see if she was going to flinch or move away. She didn't, but moved her hand when I accidentally brushed against it to grab something. Sometimes I wonder what the tipping point will be until she's willing to engage. This friendship thing is killing me! But oh well, she wants to feel the way she wants to feel. Her issue not mine.

[Greek]

That's an easy one for me (your W may be different)...

I would have been VERY hurt by that. I believe I would have still gone back - but it would have been just one more hurdle for us to clear while piecing things together. And we already had enough to deal with. One more thing...is one more thing.

I don't recommend it. My .02 ~~~ be careful.

Cheers ~~~

[MrBond]

Oh I definitely am not planning on dating. Although when my W and I were dating and had broken up (her call) when she found out that I had a GF, she started crying and said we were on a break and that she couldn't believe I found someone so fast.

Sometimes I do wish that she'd take a hard look at me and think...what the hell am I doing? If I don't stay in my M, some other lucky girl is going to get him.

I think that's what all of us LBSs wish for.

[givingitmyall]

Yep. That is what we wish for.

[jaguilar]

Yes, met him last month.

At least you have your W there where you can engage her or at least do some DBing. My W is in apt. about 5 minutes away. I try to DB as much as I can, as best as I can.

Baby steps...don't rush it.

But like I said, you're getting great advice here.

[MrBond]

Thanks. You too jag.

I've been at this for a little over a year and we were physically separated for 6 months so it does take a LOOONG time for things go to get better.

But we'll be better people at the end for it.