From the description of the bad MC session, it sounded like a who's going to win? session. Who can make the other one cry first....
Maybe it's time to put your issues aside. Maybe each of you create a list of crap that is pissing you off including actions and subjects. (meaning when he forgets to pick up the milk or you hate talking about cows and he always brings them up....) And tell him, Truce. Let's put all this crap on the side for now...take out the negative stuff and fill this relationship back up with some positive feelings. Then when we are more solid more positive go back and revisit those problems/issues...whatever.
I'm no therapist for sure but some of those questions your MC asked both of you....well, hell, of course you're upset. The MC actually told your husband to look you in your eyes and say my feelings for you have not changed.....??? Seriously, how does that help you? It sounds like it reinforces his feelings for you and your marriage are bye bye forever.
I think one of the reasons DBers are advised and advise each other to avoid the R talk because the more one person says it's over to the other spouse, the more it seems to become real and sinks in. Stop letting him say it.
And I would ask him, what is your idea of a great marriage? I think your idea is pretty right on. I could live like that.
And I debate this a lot in my own head....do you think it's possible for a couple to love each other unconditionally? Some days I say yes, others I think no way. I think we love our children unconditionally but I wonder if we love our spouses that way....?
