The boys also asked why she wasn't there. I wanted to say because she doesn't want to be with us, but that's not what I said. I just told them she couldn't come.
Good man for holding it back. She is and always will be a part of them. That would have be hurtful to THEM.
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I'll admit it. I lost my cool. I didn't DB like I was supposed to. Without going into all the detail let's just say I told her I didn't understand why she wanted this; then she proceded to tell me how selfish I had been throughout our marriage and how I acted like a five-year-old etc. etc. etc.
Pick yourself up and keep on pressing forward one day at a time. Now you know how to get her to act like a five year old throwing a tantrum, just lose your cool. Do more of what works. Yes, that is the most painful and difficult way to go, but the rewards are far greater for YOU.
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She's not in any different place than she was when all this started. After the thrashing I took, I really don't know how interested I am in saving this anymore. I just can't do it.
One of the golden rules around here is to wait (days) give yourself time to really think about it.
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If I can stop loving her, I'll stop hurting.
It doesn't work that way my man. Your gonna hurt until you heal and IMO, healing comes from letting go, working on you, accepting that somethings are out of our control, and forgiving, that very last one you do for you.
