First Piecing Thread

[Puppy Dog Tails]

My IC says that the LBS must be willing to lose the M, so that he/she will act fearless enough, so that essential changes can occur in the R. Easier said than done, but true I'm afraid.

I like this! And oh yeah, easier said than done, for sure!

Puppy

[Hope4us]

Thanks for the posts guys.

Last night was interesting, and in a good way.

I think it starts going back to last Saturday. I had some work calls Saturday morning and W came downstairs as I was finishing them up.

Saturday evening she actually asked me what they were about. When I told her, she then asked me how I handle those kinds of situations and what I needed to do to follow up, etc.

Then last night, W went to the EGF's bridal shower. It was just 3 women and the EGF. W was home early because EGF had to go to her AA meeting (I know, right?).

Anyway, W came in and get this....Asked how my day was!!!!!!!!!! No lie, it's been probably 2 years since she actually expressed an interest in my day and what went on without me bringing it up first! That led to a lot of really nice conversation.

Later we were watching that stupid Bachlorette show and there was some crap on it about one or more of the guys supposedly have GF's and are on the show anyway and the Bachlorette lady lost it, was crying, talking about them hurting her when they knew what they were doing and hurting their GF's at home, etc and I looked over at W and she was sitting there pulling the skin on her neck and it looked like she was doing everything she could do to not cry.

Not reading anything into it, and I'm not going to try to figure out just what it was about what was happening on the show that was affecting her, but it WAS interesting. Of course, she could still be planning her exit and was just feeling bad about using me still......

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Hope,

Asking about your day was really good! The stupid TV show, I don't put much stock in, for the reasons you state, but I do think starting to show some "other-centeredness" towards you is huge.

Puppy, who likes using big, hyphenated words instead of just saying "empathy"

[JAK58]

Sounds really nice H4U.
I agree with Puppy with don't put too much stock into it just enjoy the moment.

JAK

[Hope4us]

Thanks guys. I'm not putting too much stock into her reaction to the show, but it was nice to see that something affects her

But I agree, having her interested in MY day two times in 3 days is huge. Listen to me, normally I wouldn't think twice about stuff like that, but in this sitch, wow!

And today she's been an IM'ing fool. She wants to go to Fla again in the fall and is talking about buying annual passes so we can use them NEXT fall. Her wanting to go this fall brought up a finances discussion and she's willing to foot part of the bill. I also got S20's college expenses in the discussionand she's volunteered to help with that too!

Turning a corner? We'll see.

[JAK58]

Talking long term stuff here, huh maybe she does plan on sticking around.

Sounds really hopeful.

JAK

[fightingirish]

hope.. Im glad to hear things are going better for you.

Hang in there.

((((hope)))

[JAK58]

Hope,

I always wonder if I am ever really going to be able to detach enough where H is concerned. I know I should just ignore him when he is like this but I also feel when you are piecing that it is harder than it seems because you are trying to engage more in the R.
Do you know what im'e trying to say here.
Not good at expressing what i am thinking and at this point just plain exausted i think from H's drama day in and day out.

[Hope4us]

Thanks guys. I appreciate the comments.

JAK, I know it's tough to do. Believe me, I know. But the funny thing is, and I think you saw it yourself, when we don't play those reindeer games with them, they respond more. Just try it and monitor the results. If it works, great. If it doesn't, change it up.

Last night was a very good night. W and I went out for dinner and had a great time. Noticed W was wearing the earrings I got her for an anniversary gift a long time ago. She's only worn them one time since all this crap started. So that's a good thing.

She continues to be more interested in my day, she's talking and talking about the future, she's begun to discuss things with me about what "we" are doing or going to do instead of just saying "this is what I'm doing". There just seems to be more "us" instead of "me and her".

She's also volunteered to pay for a couple more family things out of "her" money. She's discussed "our" finances with me a couple times in the last week.

All in all, seems to be figuring this out. I swear, I actually think she looked at me with love in her eyes the other night. Maybe it was just an illusion, but I don't think so.

We'll see how she is today. EGF came back to work today. But alas, W told me last night that she's pretty sure EGF will be leaving our company when she gets married, which is in two weeks. WooHoo!

Talk to ya soon.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Praying for a good outcome, H4U!!! You certainly deserve one.

Puppy