GETTING UN'STUCK'

[Greek]

Hi Greek,


When you were wanting out, was it a done deal for you in your mind? Did you not even want to face Coach and the sitch in general?

When I left, yes, it was a done deal in my mind in terms of "I cannot live this way anymore." In fact, that is STILL the way I see it - and Coach does, too. Neither one of us will tolerate a marriage like we had. So, yes, I was finished with the marriage as it existed when I walked out.

Did I want to face him and our issues? No...then yes. I didn't contact him at all really except to deal with the kids. We had grown so far apart socially that our paths really didn't have to cross otherwise. My best guess at the time was that he would not change. This guess was based on experience, things he'd said and some general hopelessness on my part. Then I'll be damned - when we did have to see each other, there he was looking like a million, acting like he had his act together, eye contact....you know, DBing on me. So when I saw these little glimpses of change, the shade changed from an intolerable marriage that I could never return to, to a small offering of hope. The more I saw of that, the more I reached out to address the issues with him - b/c it was feeling safer.