GETTING UN'STUCK'

[MrBond]

Kittyfish,

"Okay, so why doesn't she just move out and file for divorce then if she doesn't want to be married to you?? That's confusing as heck for me."

Yeah that's the puzzling part. I mean, her sister's a lawyer so it's not like she doesn't have the resources to find out what's needed for a speedy D. She also still has much of her stuff at her sister's house so it's not like she can't just run away there again at a moments notice.

When I tell her that if she's that unhappy, she can leave, I get the "just leave me alone comment" or "I just want out don't you get it?". Never got a concrete reason why though.

Actually all of those things that your current H does now, I was doing to my W before the bomb. I was beginning to wonder that since I was her first and only boyfriend/husband, if she took it for granted.

It's like she has this mechanism in her that if there's something wrong, then it's not right, so I should bail. I mean when we had that talk a few weeks ago about how I thought she was going through a depression after the birth of our first D because she made a comment about seeing herself as a single mom, she told me that she should have left at that time. When I asked her why and the what the problem was at the time, she said she didn't know, but should have left.

I think alot of it depends on what and how she "feels". It's a very immature way of looking at things. Just the idea of throwing away your kids' lives, your H's life, heck even your life and everything you've built up because "something" doesn't feel right.

Ah who knows? It could be because she's still hung up on the OM.

I was wondering though, if it's not too personal, while you were separated from your first H, did you ever feel, um, in the mood? My W has not seemed to be "in the mood" for over a year. I know for men, sex is an important biological need. How about for a woman? It just doesn't seem right for her to not have any feelings in that aspect. I don't think she has any sexual drive at all.