Hi Hopeful What part of VA do you live? I'm from right outside DC. But anyways.
It almost seems like you and H are trying to "win" in MC. Just because your H wants to divorce doesn't mean he's wrong.....It's taken me a very long time to realize that about my H. And since then I've been able to let go of being angry at him for wanting this and that's gone a long way for us.
But I for sure believe that because my H wants a divorce he is broken hearted....I'm not the only one suffering.
Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy? My girlfriend asks me that all the time and it's a pretty good question. I want to be happy. I used to love to be right.
Have you ever asked him, "What is great marriage to you? What would that be? Describe it to me."?
Have you asked yourself that?
And really, you can see yourself as anyway you want. That's your perspective.
But perception is 99% accurate....or so they say. And if your H sees you in a completely differently light, you better believe him. Assume he's not saying it to be mean, maybe he really feels/and sees you this way. And then work from there. If you think the changes he needs from you are ridiculous then you are at an impass. But if he wants some changes that you think would be doable and maybe even beneficial, then go for it. Once you change, he'll change too.
For me it was so hard to make changes and then not get the reaction or response from my H that I thought I DESERVED for my hard work. And then it would cause a fight because he was not doing what I wanted him to do. Try to avoid that if you can, a true waste of my time.
And what are you doing for you? When do you get out of the house and away for just Hopeful time to do what you want?
