Jumping in (1st post)

[Gardener]

Thanks, Coach

Taking off the ring was a post-"I want a divorce", pre-DR/DBing move along the lines of "Face it, this is over, you tried everything these past six months while she just moved further and further away." And a bit of a 180 for me, in retrospect. Why keep it on? We're still technically/legally married and now I have some hope again. But off feels right so off it remains.

Yeah, a simple card/acknowledgement feels right, too, re: b'day/anniv. Although, I immediately wonder should I sign it "Love, Gardener"? (L word is like her kryptonite, now) "Always, Gardener"? (always=less scary than L) or just "Gardener"? Am I overthing all this? Is it possible to overthink this stuff? Also, I'm going away the weekend of our 2 annivs (day we met, day we married)

Two present goals: 1) She will begin to seem at ease/less awkward when she comes over (very briefly once a week right now for mail, etc.) 2) she will ask to spend some time together. Though I don't know how to reconcile these and showing her some of the changing me while making myself scarce when she's around, saying little, etc. and other Last Resort guidelines.

180s include being positive, upbeat, not calling/emailing her. No pleading. Agreeing with her. maintaining my heart's one basic approach to her that this is my dear, dear friend who is "very confused and in a tremendous amount of emotional pain" as the MC once told me privately.

GAL: got back into nutrition, started exercising again, meditating again, Saturday/Sunday hiking again, joined a local hiking club, volunteered w/local organization, reaching out to friends and just getting the heck out of the house in general.

The garden has many bulbs, perennials, sunflowers, spinach, peas, carrots, herbs, beans, tomatoesetc.

In the real garden, I'm nursing shoots of hope, perseverance, PMA, patience while forever weeding out the gloom, doom, self-pity and other insidious invaders.

Thanks, again