No R talk ? Actually R talk is not bad, it is R talk that is started by you that is bad, if HE WANTS to talk about it, then you should listen and validate.
He doesn't talk about it. Only in MC.
Then follow the lead. HE is lashing out at the MC because he feels he HAS to. Actually, it has become a stage for him to express his anger. No R talk started by you is for a reason.
Originally Posted By: Hopeful in VA
How appealing is that option for him ? Could you live with someone like you have admitted being ?
I would think not the way I WAS acting, but now I am making changes. I guess the only option is for him to see the changes consistently for a longer period of time.
This takes time and consistancy in your ACTIONS.....not words. You are NEVER going to talk your way out of something you acted your way in to. I suppose you are the kind of person that throws a seed on the ground and impatiently waits for it to grow ? It takes time for those to become real for you, and even longer for him.
Originally Posted By: Hopeful in VA
I was just happy that I achieved my goal...this does relate to THE VERY FIRST THING he said in MC back in Feb - H thinks I ALWAYS have to get my way.
YOU feel that way.......Does he ?
I'm sure he doesn't - once again don't know what he thinks, but he probably thinks I'm just making changes to try to get my way. He said in MC that I "played the part".
If you aren't playing......It will show in time..As long as YOU are real
Originally Posted By: Hopeful in VA
Those two are VERY confusing to me....Because those two descriptions are very hard to confuse. Which one ARE you and which one do you WANT to be ?
I know it seems confusing, but I believe I am/was both. I think I could be seen as inflexible, opinionated, selfish part , selfish in the sense that I made assumptions bc H didn't assert himself so I thought I was doing the best things for "us". Inflexible & opinionated in the sense that I can be aggressive & strong willed when it comes to something I believe in. But I am also a very tender person, a very loyal person - I am described as doing anything for my friends, always being there, etc.
Still not answering me....WHICH ONE DO YOU WANT TO BE ???
