Sorry to read this, I was really pulling for you. Not much in the way of advice, but I wish you the best. From what I have seen from some friends who have gone through this, it might get worse before it gets better, but it will get better so hang in there.
CB
Me; 42, W; 43 M; 16 yrs S12, D9
3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure" 5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"