Are you sure he hates his job? I think he says he does, but I think it feeds his ego! Clearly (at least to me) he wants to be "the guy" at work.... otherwise he would have made sure that things were handled such that he didn't get 200 emails in 3 hours. It's not rocket science!
I think that Nathan needing to get away when he expected a blow up is telling, too. "They" always say it's better for the kids if we stay together... things like that have to make you question that, it seems to me. How can than be a good thing?
Jeff,
Yes, because of how it is affecting Nathan, I am working even harder to establish some boundaries. Dan has a love/hate relationship with his job. He has admitted that to our MC last year. He knows he is amazing at his job, which is why he was the youngest regional manager ever when he worked at Cargill. At 28 he was running the entire Wichita division with dozens of people working under him. He knows he is great at it and makes $$$, but he also knows that it consumes him to the point he has little time for the cattle, the kids, the house, etc etc.
I asked him on the flight down if there was some sort of pecking order/chain of command at his work. You know, the bottom rung of 100 report to 25 different supervisors, those 25 report to 5 above them, Dan deals with only those five...something like that. Most workplaces have that. Teachers' aides report to the teachers, the teachers to the principals, principals to the Supt. He said they had a system like that but nobody followed it. I think truth be told he probably has control issues and is afraid to delegate in case someone else screws up...
I don't know why he dropped the glasses by today. He also dropped off a lego set that was for Nathan but packed in his suitcase. That was prob the main reason and my glasses were an afterthought. Who knows? It isn't worth worrying about at this point.
I caught myself being pleased that he went and got a drink for me (tropical rum thing) while we were at the resort pool with the kids. Then I realized, he has bitched and moaned every single day and yet I am encouraged by one drink. That is when I started seeing my sitch with realistic eyes. I have always been the one to find one nice thing to counter-balance all the negative. Whereas he finds one negative to off-set dozens of positives.
Working on detachment as we speak. Which means I need to go mow and not hang out on here!
