Wish I could read her mind (9) >>>>

[steady]

Thanks for the specific example Tim. Sometimes what looks good is bad, and what looks bad is good. We can't see the intricate and complex web that is woven across the full range of dynamics that are inherent in all relationships. (Did I actually just type that?)

Every time I guess the future the universe laughs its a$$ off.

This is the definition of detaching and having no expectations. It's the antithesis of control (ultimately all control is an illusion) and attempting to 'do' something to trigger an outcome be believe we want.

Tim, you are where you are supposed to be right NOW. Choose the right thing and see what happens. Don't project into the future but rather deal with what's in front of you right NOW.

Always for me, the worst thing (my label) turned out to be one of the best things (my label)in my life and vice versa. Go read the zen story of We'll See...

You can be clear and tell her you taking this stand is not an attempt to control her but rather your need to stand up for yourself. She is a grown woman and can make the decisions she wants to make - but the same holds true for you.

We're all behind you. We all care about you. We all feel for you. We're all hear to help as best we can.