Your words are as wise as ever. I honestly think the fact that she misses Wee Man so much is the reason she's so against me having him more. She uses the excuse that he's not used to being away from her for so long. I guess in a way it could be a bit of a power struggle too. In the eyes of the Child Support Agency here in the UK, she's seen as his primary carer for the purposes of who pays what in the way of child support. She seems to think that the title 'primary carer' gives her more rights over Wee Man than me though. That really isn't the case and she's being completely naive about it. We both have equal say in the upbringing of our child by Scottish Law but unfortunately, because she haves him more than I do, she can restrict how often I see him and the only way I'll be able to stop her is by going through the courts. That's something I want to avoid at all costs.
I've arranged for her to come over tonight for a visit so we can discuss it properly but I know how she is. She's very stubborn and is unlikely to back down when she's made her mind up. I'm more than willing to come to an amicable, friendly solution but I just can't see the same from her. Hopefully she'll surprise me though. I guess I'll find out tonight.
I know that in a way I'm acting out of my own desires to see my son and it should always be about what's best for him. I genuinely believe that spending more time with his dad will be good for him and I have to try and convince her of that. It's as if she believes that I'm trying to take him away from her and that's why she gets so defensive. It seems like a no-win situation sometimes.
Kev
Me: 32, Wife: 22 Son: 2 Married: 2 years Separated: January 5th 2009
Sometimes you have to become lost before you can find yourself.
