I would do that except I have NOT ONE DOUBT he would be grateful, draw the papers up faster than you can say "Drop the Rope" with a pen in hand for me to sign.
So H agreed, begrudgingly to do the marriage program with me which is basically cd's, a work book with a book. He has out right REFUSED traditional counseling and he absolutely doesn't want to do this either. But for some reason, I was able to convince him to do it. But sort of not really because he's so reluctant. We started last night listening to the first CD. He rolled his eyes a lot and said "You are such a smart girl....I can't believe you fell for this scam artist." So we get done and he's just very negative about it. Again says he doesn't want to do it, he doesn't want to fix anything, he wants to move on. I told him "Look, I can't do this. I can't stay here and watch you fall in love with someone else. I just can't. So don't rent a new place just in case I leave. This is not a threat, it's the truth. I can't do it." And really, I know I couldn't take it. It would kill me. A few minutes later, he and S are about to shower. I asked him again "Are you going to do this with me?" He says again how stupid it is and how much he just wants to move on. I asked again "Are you going to do this and be sincere?" He said "I'll try. But I can't promise I'm going to do all these steps. What do we have to do next?" We had work book stuff to do. He and S shower. I clear my head and push the reset button. We do the work book. It was actually very insightful. And he had a much better attitude. He said he would continue so we'll see. I'm not exactly hopeful. But I do feel one more step closer to being able to say to myself I tried everything.
The rest of the evening after we were finished with the workbook, it went well. This first section of the workbook as well as the CD talks about building trust starting with small things like "I will pick up the milk on the way home" and then following through to do it. So we each made 7 promises, one big one the rest pretty easy (I hope) to follow through with. It also went through some other information that I found insightful including the fact he doesn't think I'm very fun anymore. And he's only loved me for about three of our seven years together.....meaning he hasn't loved me for the last four or so. That sucked to hear. But he does like the part where we have to table all the issues and stop fighting. Keep your fingers crossed and more advice suggestions thoughts....2x4's....let me have it.
