H asked me more questions about myself this time. He knew from his dad that I ran the 10k and getting out more. He said he was glad to hear that and I needed to do more for myself.
So, I think that shows my emails with FIL have been effective... both maintaining and repairing a R with FIL that is important to me, but also a way of communicating to H while being dark that I am GAL.
I guess maybe he brought that up because it eases his guilt about D - that I'm doing ok and will be alright without him.
Looking at my goals for the evening:
Stay as calm as possible Listen Validate Let myself be REAL Say MUCH less than H - really hear him
I think I did Ok! Yes, I got upset initially but then I pulled it together and we had a good talk. Long enough for 3 beers for him, 2 for me. I listened well, validated, was real, and let him do most of the talking.
