I don`t think I hurt dbing efforts. In fact H did say I cared for the kids more than him and that is-and always has been so true.
I really do feel it would be worth our while exploring this and other issues in MC but as he doesnt want MC that`s a non runner at the moment.
I do feel now that he`s trapped again.Though I would accept his decision to separate without us both having IC and MC first, I don`t agree that its the best thing to separate without MC. He wants to present separation without MC as a mutually agreed decision. I told him there is always one person who prefers separation more than the other and that he is that person in our relationship.
Yes, I know family will go back to him with everything. I know having MIL involved is no help. It wasn`t my choice to tell her and I knew once she knew she would move heaven and earth to get us back together. His family though are the only hope for him getting the help and support he needs to get him through this funk. his brother in particular has had a lot of therapy and come through so much in terms of resolving issues from their childhood(father is an alcoholic, violent relationship with mother).
I`m afraid of H being as angry in separation as he is in marriage. My one aim for us now is to get us both to a calmer place.
Don`t quite know how that`s going to happen though!
Meanwhile I`m working on my GAL goals and off to post up some now.
