Can anyone answer this? Part 8

[Dawn of Hope]

Hi, Renee,
A lot of people on here have the "much younger OW" in their sitch. You will notice that if you are paying attention to it.

My H has always been interested in college-age people, especially women (not always in a romantic way). I think he likes something about the energy of the young. I'm also starting to suspect that it ties into his co-dependent tendencies--he is a strongly "caretaker" type, and heaven knows that most college students could use someone else providing the benefit of their brains (and experience, and money, and...). I, on the other hand, can't imagine myself, from the age of about 30 on, ever being the least bit romantically interested in a 20-something man. I am glad to be rid of the immaturity of that age and younger--I have _very_ little tolerance for it.

My H has been heavily involved in community theatre for about 10 years, especially through the community colleges, so that keeps a constant supply of fresh college-age blood available to him. His first OW was 22 when they were involved, and he was 37. The current OW was 22 when they first got involved, almost two years ago now, and he was 43. I think if he doesn't get himself straightened out, he will be finding another 22-year-old when he's 50, and another at 57, and another at 65...yuck! Oh-oh, I just realized I might be M to Hugh Hefner!!

My H has been on a 5-person bowling team with the same 3 "girls" (that's how he refers to them collectively) for about 10 years (the 5th person is a different man just about every year). The girls were all around age 20 and attending the community college when H started his community theatre experience there. One of the girls on the team is my H's OW#1, now M to a guy the same age as my H, who was separated from his first (or maybe second?) W when he and OW#1 started dating, right after she and my H "broke up" because I found out about their R. Following the "breakup," H flatly refused to remove himself from being on the bowling team with her and thus seeing her every week with me not around (I get sick in the smoke-filled atmosphere of bowling alleys), so I had to just learn to live with it.

It was interesting that over the years, many, many times H came home from bowling and complained about the immature things the three girls were doing (including OW#1). I finally learned not to criticize any of them in front of him, even if it was just agreeing with his complaints. I just listened, especially when it was OW#1 he was currently grousing about. But...no matter how much he complained, he kept bowling with them, and probably will be doing so in the fall again, for all I know. And apparently he hasn't had his fill of immaturity, because he's back to being involved with an early 20-something girl. And to add insult to injury, I'm fit and healthy and a size 4 or so, and she's at least double my weight. It's such a slap in the face...or rather, a couple of years' worth of severe beatings.

Wow, I didn't mean to talk so much about my sitch...I hope you don't feel hijacked! Maybe you got something or other out of all that gibberish...

MLC cliches actually have a grain of truth to them, even though they hide a world of pain. I would rather have seen my H try to buy 10 red sports cars than go after one 20-something woman (or any age, really). But ya know, we don't really get to choose...they do. And we have to figure out how to live with it. That's why we're all here on the boards...to make our lives better, in spite of whatever our WAS's choose to throw at us.

Peace,
Dawn