my advice to all of those waiting on their loved ones to return or if they have returned my advice is to take it one day at a time, do not dwell on what the R was like with the other person, don't even go there. Concentrate on you and your loved one and take it one day at a time.
my h is glad this is behind us, does not want to ever experience this again.
really, things are better then i ever thought they would be.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I am very glad to hear read your news - Congrats!!! This give a lot of us hope.
Can you identify what you think made your WAS change his mind? Is there anything that he has told you that you can share with us - things that YOU had control of (ie changes you made in yourself, maybe not pressuring him, etc...)?
Thaks, and again, we are all very happy for you!!!
Me: 46 W: 46 M: 9.5 yrs D4, D9 D filed by her 11/3/08 Agrees to try rec at mediation 1/28/09 Says she still wants D in counseling 3/25/09 W and I back in DB counseling (!) 8/20/09 3rd Bomb 9/2/09
Thanks for the update.....good to know things are going well.I will lift you and your family up in prayer right now...God bless you.I want to thank you for showing me what it really means to stand with God for restoration...You never ever showed any doubt about your stand...and I want to thank you for showing me to be patient and to wait on his perfect timing. For giving me hope .....
So glad to hear things are going so well! I am in continual awe of how well you handled the stand for your marriage and consider it a blessing to be able to read your threads and see what you have accomplished with the Lord's guidance.
Not dwelling on DH's relationship with the OW is huge and so hard! I am working on focusing solely on myself and the kids while still leaving room for DH in our lives.
DH is here every day from around 3:30 until about 9pm, unless he has duty and has to stay on the ship. the only deviation from that has been Memorial day weekend, when he disappeared for the whole weekend, and this past Sunday, when he declined to join us on a trip to the amusement park. While I am mostly okay with this arrangement, I sometimes fear I am being a doormat by allowing him so much access to the house and kids. Input?
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
Not sure how to explain this but it was a spiritual battle is how he explains it. The devil had him just where he wanted him and it was difficult to get out of but as my h says, God gave him a way out and he never wants to look back.
He says this had nothing to do with me.
No depression, no funny moods, no contact with ow at all.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
did you guys talk about it? I would think closure is in order cant be just shuffled under the rug.....he was gone 3 yrs.....i know K and I are still struggling every day. he's home and its where he wants to be ....but we are still sorting out the dynamics
ps...im soooooo very happy for you
Last edited by a new 2moro; 06/10/0904:39 AM.
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
I'm happy for you too !! I think I may move back to this board.. my bf also insisted in the past it was nothing to do with me. And he also hasnt had any depression or funny moods since being back and we havent talked about anything, or ow either ! Glad to see there is someone else who has just returned to 'normal' without too much angst. Happy for you,
Ali xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Of course we have discussed all of this. He is not struggling in the way in which many think he would be struggling. He is glad this is behind him/us.
All I can say to those who are in constant contact with their spouses who have run off is to be patient and kind.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
my h told me many times before he came home that he appreciates that i was still there for him.
like i said, be patient, kind, and if he comes home, let him do a lot of the talking. my h did this and he told me i could ask what i wanted and also i was able to express what i went thru and what i felt in his absence. so yes, we did talk--a lot.
since we both do not have jobs we are together 24/7 and if i go out to the store he is texting wanting to know where i am if i am gone awhile or like yesterday, i was on the phone in another room and he was wanting to know where i was.
it's been fine.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
