It's been a while, but those of you who have been so helpful deserve to hear the 'end'.
In short, the wife called today to propose a one year period of legal separation to be followed by divorce. I agreed. She has indicated that she wants none of our major possessions (apartment, car, etc) and thus far I have no reason to doubt her. I have no expectations of any trouble, though I will take appropriate measures to protect myself.
Over the last few months, I have worked hard at detachment and GAL. I think this is why this bomb today is so emotionally distant to me (at least tonight). Because in many ways I had already began to understand that it was not likely to turn out with us together, and mentally I had begun to move on. I had also come to learn that the EA had transitioned to a PA, which pushed me over the edge in thinking that I might not want to continue the relationship, even if she changed her mind. As my IC pointed out, what I wanted in my life was finally a part of the picture, rather than just what she wanted.
So, I know many people reconcile up to (and sometimes beyond) the day the final divorce papers are signed. But today, that's not even what I want. I think it is done, I think I have gotten a darn raw deal and have been treated like garbage, and I think the wonderful woman I married has turned into a cruel monster. And to be honest, even if this is a complex period in her life or whatever, I don't want to be married to someone who treats me like this, because it feels like crap, and I'm tired of feeling like crap.
But I will use my GAL to springboard myself into this next phase. I know this will take a long time to process and integrate into my world view, but we take it one day at a time.
I'm feeling very brave right now, though probably end up a wreck tomorrow, but this is where we are, and so we move on.
Again, many thanks for all your help. I've been a quiet member of the boards, but please know that what I've heard from you all really did make a big difference at some key moments in my life. I wish you all the best.
