That is, indeed, the toughest dance to dance. As a parent, an employer or a spouse, how you balance "being supportive" with "not enabling" and allowing consequences to their actions to kick in. It's agonizing.
This is where I am at. It is so frustrating. Puppy where do you draw the line. How do I know the difference between making H responsible for his actions because they are morally wrong and in my case legally wrong and making him feel the consequences because it makes me feel good.
I am petrified of looking back at my actions and thinking I was emotionally charged not logically chardged !
My case is serious. Supreme court injunctions available, criminal charges for fraud. Once again who gets hurts - kids. As a mother I struggle with this kind of decision.
One hint I would have at where to draw the line would be to not do anything PROACTIVELY to put him further in jeopardy, but also not do anything to STOP inherent consequences from kicking in.
Some examples of this from my own sitch two years ago:
1) After initially exposing my W's affair to her parents, I could see that it upset them terribly, and so I no longer called them up and proactively told them things. But I made a decision that if they asked me something directly, I would never lie to them to cover up my wife's affair, and I also told my wife at one point "I will no longer lie to cover up your affair."
2) When my D-then-18 told me she wanted to confront OM at the gym where OM and my W worked, and she also asked me if I had his phone number and would I give it to her . . . I told her that I did have it, I wouldn't give it to her, but that if she saw him she should feel free to tell him anything that's on her mind and on her heart.
3) Ditto for what she should say to her mother.
Not sure if this was "correct" or not, but it helped me.
