I think you did the right thing with not going to the party at your mutual friends house. Even our friends need to learn that they cannot put you in compromising positions.
To all...back in court this morning. I feel so out place here. The characters....going up the elevator...with the hot blondes D'ing their H's...the sad looking guy asking for directions to Bankruptcy court...the biker dudes with the chains hanging off their beltloops heading to criminal court....and me.
Today...the judge reads my cross motion and will probably render a decision on whether a THIRD request to have me thrown out should be honored.
I have mentioned the parenting plan thing multiple times and my L tells me it comes in the final decree. Unless separated legally, this is what it is
Quote:
L: FIB...most of my men are thrown out of the house or spend a night in jail. You are still in and see your kids everday. I don"t wantyou to be thrown out. Don't nitpick and do the best you can. I know I am keeping you there under difficult circumstances but if you get thrown out, you will never get divorced.
To frank...thanks for picking uo on the betrayal I feel from 'Pavarotti'. It stung to see STBXW there when I dropped off D6... chatting away at his pool party. He chose the 'I don"t want to choose/it's about the kids' defense over our longterm friendship. I hate to say this now...but I wonder if he 'did" STBXW. I have my suspicions but I am getting divorced and this is water under the bridge. My trust and friendship with him now...and his GF who is an OR nurse that I have known for almost 20 years (she just went thru a D)...is damaged
On more upbeat notes...I was on call for the ER the other day and in walks S8's asst principal. Made a good call and I end up taking out her inlamed appendix. The principal was aware as well.
STBXW is such an idiot. She gave up a great husband and a loving father,
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
THAT is what you hang your hat on as you work your way through each day till she is gone.
I get what your lawyer is saying. But if you can't have some type of informal parenting schedule, that means you will have to be firm about sticking to your days. And do it in a way that throws a few flames as possible on to her fire.
Your ability to hang in there and maintain your character is more than admirable Frank.
It will end at some point.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
it came to pass and not to stay.........its true...you are doing great...dodging bombs everyday.....you are a great H and a great F....she is one stupid woman
and about your experience in the elevator...interesting...
OK...this sounds like a stupid title..but..something happened today. After court, I rushed over to my daughter's school for her end of the year class party. I arrived on time (well, the principal trapped me about the surgery I did on her associate).
The room was packed. There..in the middle..was my STBXW with D6 on her lap and her Aunt 'Lorelei' on one side...no seat saved for me. I waved cheerfully to my daughter and then...walked to the back of the room. I felt badly. 2 years ago, DB'ing, I would have sat there...dejected....allowing the little boy to stew.
NO MORE.
I walked over to the woman next to my daughter. "Excuse me...would you mind if I sat next to my daughter."
The woman moved over a seat and put her son on her lap.
I sat down.
My daughter immediately left my STBXW's lap and sat on mine...THRU THE ENTIRE PRESENTATION.
You see...this in not about ME taking my daughter away from my STBXW...nor is it about MY NEEDS....but..what I was able to recongnize is the following:
-at the age of 6, my daughter wants both parents....she cannot and DOES NOT want to choose -to expect my daughter to CHOOSE ME..to leave her mom.....is RIDICULOUS ON MY PART
I overstepped my STBXW's isolation of me...and provided my daughter with her father.
I MUST be getting better....lolol. I feel good today.
Court
Another wash. G-d bless the State of NY.
The motion was presented to the judge and my cross motion. He will read it and rule on it by paper. I arrived at the courthouse at 9AM...my atty came out at 11AM. Next court date is Aug. 3rd. The meat of what my L told me is that the fact that the LG finally reacted and agreed that counseling is needed...is a, well, plus for me...that it suggests that STBXW is causing damage. I caught her up on other stupid stuff that STBXW was doing...grandstanding in public (yelling at me) continuing to bring OUR issues up in front of the kids, her not allowing me to drive S8 to the ballpark, her nondiscussion of babysitting arrangements and how, on MY Wednesday with the kids, she has her parents meet the kids at the bus and shuttle them away thus causing me to lose homework time with them. Not much I can do.
I CAN call the school and insist that a biological parent get them off the bus..but...if I should have surgery, that would leave a head on confrontation between her parents and my sister who lives across the street. I won't put my sis in that position.
Grace...Bill...thanks for still being here for me through this whole mess. It is 3 years post bomb...1 1/2 years post filing....and I am STILL under the roof with this angry woman. Thanks for your support...ALL.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
I am not impressed with what your L told you as it does not sound like she has much of a good record representing men in divorce cases. Maybe it all boils down to a broken New York court system and VAWA.
You have my upmost respect in remaining calm throughout the court appearance. I am afraid that I would have pulled an Al Pacinio "You're Out of Order" scene...
You FIB... August will be two years post filing for me dude. Nothing even near being settled on mine.
I used to question my decision to not co-habitat with Carrie. I used to wonder if I made a mistake making her move out. Then I read what you go through and I do not know if I could be the man that you are. I would have gone nuts and ended my asss in jail or something.
I think you did fantastic today asking that woman to move so you could sit next to your D. Very proud of you dude, we do see changes don't we.
I also agree that calling the school is a bad move. Your schedule does not allow for that sort of thing and right now you have the advantage of contingency plans. You don't want that gone. I do however think maybe slipping away a little early now and again and picking them up yourself would be a good idea if you can.
Quote:
Another wash. G-d bless the State of NY.
To me, it is never a wash when she filed the complaints/motions and the judge does not give her the time of day on them. I also told you before that regardless of the judge not ruling, your motions will serve a purpose. he will see her filing these stupid motions and a father who responds with care and concern for his kids. These things stay with a judge my friend. When the hammer drops at the end, he will remember all of this.
I'm sick of this. Today...D6 said to me "dad...mom said you're not allowed to put cream on my vagina".(Referring to Desenex and Balmex when she has burning or a rash') FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
My X at least has the common sense to realize that if D6 has girl problems while with me that I can be counted on to help solve it (ie. Vagisil)- and I am not even a doctor!
What does your STBXW expect you to do if you are on an extended trip with the kids - let D6 suffer?
I'm sick of this. Today...D6 said to me "dad...mom said you're not allowed to put cream on my vagina".(Referring to Desenex and Balmex when she has burning or a rash') FIB
I'm speechless. And of course, 'mom' is not allowed to make 'rules' like that.
