The school shopping went ok. The school by her place is a good school and thinking it through, I realized the driving time difference between the two schools is less than 10 min... So it's really just in my head, not an actual problem. It's just that it's right next door to her and out of my way. Also, during the visit, the fact that she introduces me to teachers and other staff as "the twins dad" just really gets my blood boiling! I did really work hard to get over that as quick as possible tho. I try to forget it and then just move on in the convo...
On the vacation: All 4 of us went to Disney for a week. W's sister was there with her daughter and W's brother with wife and daughter. We drove down on Friday and back up last Friday. Trip went great, just behaving like a "normal" family. Went out to eat on the way, talked the entire way, good teamwork handling the kids, etc... I was getting a little prickled when she wanted to stay in a different room, but I decided I was gonna make this the lowest pressure time she had ever had with me before we even left, so I decided to just let it go. Besides, the condo was more than big enough for both of us to have our own rooms.
Throughout the whole week we always got along great and it felt good being together again. No disagreements on where to eat, what to do, not anything really. W's sister is driving the program as usual, but both of us being really laid-back just went along and had good time. At night, W would talk to me about how she gets on her nerves several times a day, and she does get on my nerves too, so we're on the same wavelength all the time. SIL has always been very positive about me to W right from the start of the sitch, pretty much to the point of it being counter-productive, but spending a week together in a relaxed setting did sink in to W I think.
We did take one day to do our own thing with the kids and went to a waterpark. That was the best day as all we had to do is sit on a long chair and watch the kids have fun while we talked. W agreed that that was the most relaxing day of the whole vacation.
During the trip she bought a couple of dresses and some other clothing and I complimented her on those. She does seem to get more self-conscious again. Something that was gone for a while, where she was pretty confident. Now, she will say that something doesn't look good on her when it does, just like the old days. I try to encourage her by picking out clothing for her that I think will look good on her and complimenting her on those. I am trying not to overdo it tho, but I do think she appreciates it.
On the day we left, the boys were constantly saying they didn't want to go home and stay there of course. Then when we all got in the car to drive back, one of them says: "I want mommy to stay with us at our house, all together." Wow! Out of the blue that came out! W just ignored it, but she heard of course. I just ignored it too and told him about what we'll do on our way back home.
When we got to the house, I dropped myself and the boys off and W went in to put them to bed while I unpacked the car. Then I helped her clean out all the trash. Before she left, she came up and hugged me and said that she had had a great time and thanked me for everything.
Boys and I had a busy weekend after that with a picnic at my work and a pool party on Sunday. On Monday, we texted a little bit during the day (she was telling me about a movie she went to see with a friend on Sunday, how I would LOVE it!). Tuesday morning early I had one of those hours where I am awake and can't sleep because I keep talking about our sitch and started getting really negative. Felt better after working out at lunch. Felt good by the time I got home after the boys' swimming lessons. Was just starting dinner when W drove up to pick the boys up. She was very upbeat and talkative and wanted to tell me all about that movie and a bunch of other stuff. She made a music cd for me with new music she had gotten and that I like. Then she asked me what I wanted to do for father's day. My stepson (her son) flies in on Sat and I told her we (I and the boys) could go pick him up since she has the shop open on Sats and she responded that we should just all go and maybe go out to eat on the way back. She stayed for an hour even though she had already eaten and had gotten the boys something too. When she left I got another hug. She was all smiles the whole time, it felt good, different from before the vacation. I did throw out an invitation to go see a movie (a lot of movies are out now that we both want to see and they are about to stop playing) and she was very enthusiastic about that.
I am just gonna keep doing what I am doing and see where this goes....
