In recent years, my W put up a wall between us, and built her own life - own friends & confidants, own goals, own sources of happiness. I am on the outside, and in her R with me there is no joy, no laughter, no deep discussions of hopes and dreams, no open discussions of needs. I understand this as her defense mechanism. If she isn't happy when we are together, then she can't get disappointed. If she doesn't talk about her needs and dreams, then I can't minimize and dismiss them.
My W has also done this. Sad. We do some friendly things together but I feel I'm on the outside of her world.
I don't minimize or dismiss her needs, but perhaps she doesn't have to be disappointed in me or the way things go if she's not there.
Last edited by orangedog; 06/10/0908:54 PM.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
