This past few months was all new to her and she knew it was not right, but it happened so slowly that before she knew it, the feelings were there and she couldn't stop.
She has never met OM in person. It started out very innocently and she never planned to let it go this far. They text, chat and speak on the phone.
She feels that it may be something she could pursue, but has not given that much thought....in her words, he lives there, I live here...it's not possible at this time and no one has talked about packing it all in and having a future together.
She said, although there are strong feelings, she is not naive enough to think that "he is the one". Like she said.."I have never met him..I have no idea what I will feel when the time comes, but right now I feel something".
He will be coming to the area, and she has looked forward to finally meeting him.
She could not rule out physical contact, or even sex when they do meet.
...is pretty much the same self-centered, asinine bullcrap that just about every one on this site has heard from their screwed up spouse.
There's nothing genuine or even original about it.
It's called justification.
And it's not even very good justification.
It's the typical first line of defense erected by a cheating spouse when they are caught, but their spouse still seems to be handling it reasonably.
"I never meant for it to happen."
You don't look up old male friends when you're a female unless you're looking for a new male friend. And you don't look for male friends when you're in a damaged marriage unless you're looking for a new potential playmate. This ain't rocket science.
"Before I knew it, there were feelings there."
Even though I'm thirtysomething years old and know damned well what that initial rush is that comes with an illicit relationship, I'm going to plead ignorance on this one and say it just happened. I don't suppose ending messages with X's and O's, I love you's, and sharing erotic stories with each other could have had anything to do with a desire to see what it might be like? This wasn't an accident. It's the natural result of irresponsible decisions. Your wife is not an idiot - she knew darned well what was happening and where their interaction was leading.
"I just don't know what I am going to do."
I know exactly what I'm going to do, but I can tell you are already upset and hurt and I don't want to make it any worse by telling you all the thoughts that I've been rolling around in my mind for the past several months. The truth is that she knows exactly what she's going to do, which is exactly why she would not give you a guarantee that nothing physical would happen between her and the moron. Again, this is nothing more that deflection to get you off her case.
Let's at least call bs, bs.
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
