It is normal to have lows in your day. I control my moods now and enjoy the weather no matter what is going on. Fear no longer controls my life. I lost my brother to lightning about 12 years ago. I do take precautions, but I still enjoy a lightning storm. The terror is gone.
You and H are connected. You both share the same feelings. Your thoughts become your reality, his thoughts become his reality.
The sooner you get your thoughts onto things that make you happy, the faster this process will go. That is why it is critical to start doing things that make you happy.
When I feel alone, I go out. Starbucks is my place. Where is your place? There are 7.5 Billion people on this planet. Go be with some of them. They are all interesting. Pass out what you want to receive. Want some smiles, go smile at people. Want people to talk to you, go talk to people. Some will be receptive, others won't. Don't take any rejection personal. They have their issues to deal with.
DO SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD. Be in the moment and enjoy it.
I went to Walmart for pedicures. That was really nice.
Fill up your day doing things that make you feel good.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Today was one of those days where I was feeling very lonely and alone. Tomorrow I will make it a better day. Some days I think I'm getting used to the separation, and then other days it hurts as much as the day he left.
"You and H are connected. You both share the same feelings. Your thoughts become your reality, his thoughts become his reality."
Could you or anyone elaborate on that statement? To me, it means that we've shared the deepest of human emotions-love. But now that we're apart, we naturally become self-reflective. Our memories of each other become an overwhelmingly massive kaleidoscope of conflicting emotions. Sooner or later, the strongest memories become our reality, and those strongest memories of our relationship mold our current thoughts of each other. I think, though, that over time one's memories can become distorted.
Or maybe we really do become our thoughts, like Murphy's Law.
Right now I think anger is fogging my H thoughts. Maybe we just didn't understand each other's behaviors. But I think that one can love completely without complete understanding. But loving someone, to me, means complete acceptance. I have to ask myself, "was I completely accepting of my H, flaws and all?" In turn, "was he completely accepting of me?"
What is anybody's else's view on this strongest of human connections we call love? And why is it that humans often want what we can't have?
Me 40 WAH 43 T 4 years M 9 1/2 months stepson 9 H left 3 weeks ago
"You and H are connected. You both share the same feelings. Your thoughts become your reality, his thoughts become his reality." Could you or anyone elaborate on that statement?
Your thoughts will manifest into your reality. You are letting his thoughts,words and actions affect you. Are they affecting you in a positive way? If not, then you need to detach from him, and let other things affect you in a positive way. When you interact with him, you need to project the positive thoughts to affect HIM. Do not take his negative energy.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Still no contact from H. I'm not suprised, I wasn't expecting and kind of contact from him. And I'm certainly not going to contact him. Besides, he's in LA for the week having fun with his dad and brother.
Is it unhealthy of me to think of H and stepson as my family?
Me 40 WAH 43 T 4 years M 9 1/2 years stepson 9 H left 3 weeks ago No D filed
Sometimes I think that since I'm trying to fully detach then I shouldn't be thinking of H and stepson as my family. Afterall, they are not living with me.
I wonder if H thinks of me as his family, his W. Probably not.
My goals for today are:
1. Mow the lawn. 2. Take dog for a hike with my new girlfriend. 3. Buy some flowers to plant in outdoor pots. 4. Pay some bills. 5. Begin reading DR without skipping parts.
I can't believe it's almost the middle of June. I better start GAL so I can enjoy the summer!
Me 40 WAH 43 T 4 years M 9 1/2 months stepson 9 H left 3 weeks ago No D filed
I'm going to force myself to go downtown to one of the bars and order a beer and hamburger this evening. We moved to this small resort town a month ago and I don't know too many people. But I really need to get out there and meet new people.
After reading the posts of traveldane and orchid, I felt comforted knowing that I'm not the only one who really isn't feeling any better than when our H's first left. When it first happened, I was in complete shock and couldn't sleep or eat for a week. Now I feel like I'm just in a different room of the house of misery and loneliness. The harsh and brutal reality of my life without him floods my mind almost every moment of every day. There are times when I think I'm starting to feel a little better, but then later I'm back to that aching yearning to be with him again.
I've often wondered if things happen in one's life for a reason, if there is a reason that this is happening to me and so many others.
Every day I think my new life is going to get easier, but it really doesn't.
My worst fear is that he will come back from LA and file for D. In the first chapter of DR, Michelle talks about how the WAS's family can increase the odds of a divorce. Also, both H and I have been divorced before, and divorce rates for people who've been divorced before are 60%.
I guess I'm being quite pessimistic today. I need to stop fearing and obsessing and at least fake being happy and carefree.
Me 40 WAH 43 T 4 years M 9 1/2 months stepson 9 H left 3 1/2 weeks ago No D filed
