Fire's burning out...just smoldering

[blindsided1]

D party...definitely still on. I just keep reminding myself that it's just a piece of paper. It's just a piece of paper. H took K last night to get her 1 year Birthday pictures. He has left me in such a state of debt that I can't even afford to get those done for her. It's sad, I've been sick for weeks. Everyone keeps begging me to go to the doctor and get antibiotics. The sad part is....and I hate admitting it...but, I can't even afford the $40 co-pay until I get paid on Monday.....That is how broke he left us...Me! But, he can buy toys, tattoos, have a $3000 house rent, go on vacation and afford to NOT work for 6 months. Must be nice to have a sugar mama. And, when he does work, he doesn't help support his daughter other than pay 1/2 the daycare. I have filed the paperwork with the DCSS and I am now just waiting for them to call to set up an appointment. I don't feel bad about it anymore...especially when I watch him spending what should be K's money. The one thing that I am NOT looking forward to is the fact that he is going to be a total jerk and mean mean mean when he finds out that they are going to garnish. And, right now, we are actually getting along. Although most of his "niceness" comes in the form of sexual inuendos and advances. Well, the next week will be busy. But, I am going to make K's birthday the best birthday it can be. H is throwing some kind of party for her from 2-4 on Sunday and it will be all of OW's friends and family because my H doesn't have any friends. What kind of party goes from 2-4? I'm sure it's because OW has to work Sat night graveyard, so she wants to sleep in when she gets off at 5am. Then she has to go back to work at 5pm so, I'm glad she could "fit" my daughter's birthday into her very busy busy schedule.

[blindsided1]

Well, isn't this nice....H didn't take K to have her first birthday pics done. He took her to have "their" family pictures done. And, they posted them on their FB page. My daughter with that whore and her kids and MY H. I hate to say it, but right now, I wish ill towards her and her fake a$$ family. Little does she know, he came to drop K off and AGAIN asked me for sex. I know it was her idea. I know it was. She wants a "family" so bad, she destroyed mine to get it even if it is fake. It totally pisses me off. I hate that woman. I f'ing hate her.

[Startingover2]

I don't blame you. But blame him more. Does she know you see his FB page? I am sure she does some of this out of spite for sure. In her mind they are a perfect little family. Its just a matter of time before she realizes what has happened.

I am sorry you saw that. I feel the same way when I see someone else at exh's or hear that he tells people how happy he is.

Blech!

[blindsided1]

It's MY own fault. I look at that crap. I know she knows I can see that stuff. She puts things on FB that make no sense. Like she will put as her status "ooh pork chops, green beans and rice. Thank you baby for bringing me dinner at work". This is her status quote and H doesn't even go on his FB, hardly ever. So, why would she put a status quote addressed to him? Why? Because it wasn't addresses to him. It was addressed to me. So, I started to wonder....the last few weeks....she has been more controlling with him, more over the top in regards to what she posts on her FB..sexual stuff, what he does for her, talking about how much he loves her blah blah blah. I know if I was happy in my relationship, I wouldn't need to shout it from the roof tops to try and convince everyone else...including myself.

Any thoughts?

[Startingover2]

Your right..the fb stuff is mostly for your eyes. She has a feeling deep down inside that knows he is flighty. Just watch what happens in the future. Glad you are on top of the cs stuff. She will have her hand in the cookie jar too when life falls apart for them.

[Sugar and Spice]

It's MY own fault. I look at that crap. I know she knows I can see that stuff. It was addressed to me. So, I started to wonder....the last few weeks....she has been more controlling with him, more over the top in regards to what she posts on her FB..sexual stuff, what he does for her, talking about how much he loves her blah blah blah. I know if I was happy in my relationship, I wouldn't need to shout it from the roof tops to try and convince everyone else...including myself.
Any thoughts?

You are dead on. She is doing it,
One: To make herself feel better about what she has done and been a part of.
Two: She is terribly insecure and somewhere in her mind KNOWS if he did it with her, he wouldn't be above doing it TO her.
Three: She knows or at least suspects you look and does it just to hurt you. Why? Refer to reason 1.

Deep down inside she knows this little "family" is a sham and like most of us when we started suspecting something wasn't right in our R, she is sensing things in him that make her question his loyalty to her. I'm sure it hasn't escaped her notice that he left his pregnant wife to be with her. I would bet that things aren't nearly as rosy as she would like for you to believe that they are and she is starting to live in the reality that she has created for herself. Her FB posts sound like a desperate attempt to convince herself that things are fine, when clearly they are not.

Read my recent posts and you will see some of the same stuff. My H OW actually called me on Sunday for sympathy if you can believe it.

[Startingover2]

Well put Sugar and Spice and I totally agree.

I wish we could put a finger on my exh's strange behavior.

[blindsided1]

A girlfriend of mine made a good assessment. She said that it is also very likely that even though OW is doing these things and trying to make a family out of the BS, H is probably also making a bit todo about having a "family" in a way to slam me and anyone else who thinks he is a loser. Like he has something to prove to everyone. This I understand, completely and it makes a lot of sense. So, family to him isn't about security and fullfilment, but more about an acomplishment. Whatever. It's as fake as a $3 bill. I have a family...K and I and my Mom and Dad and cousins and all the friends I have that have been there and continue to be there for her and us. What does he have? OW's friends and family...until they really get to know him and until his facade falls off.

[Startingover2]

I think you are right there as well. I see on my exh's fb that he tells everyone he hasn't seen in years his life is great and he is just working and doing dad things. Dad things? Please. Its all a fake show.

They know they are losers.

[Sugar and Spice]

I think you are right there as well. I see on my exh's fb that he tells everyone he hasn't seen in years his life is great and he is just working and doing dad things. Dad things? Please. Its all a fake show.
They know they are losers.

Its funny, the people that are truly happy are not the ones crowing from the top of the koop about it. Their happiness radiates from within and everyone they come into contact with can feel it. What do our "Happy" Hs and OWs bring with them? Misery, disorder, dysfunction? If your really that happy, you wouldn't need to work so damn hard to convince others about it.

JMO...