Emails like that tend to make me feel guilty for some reason. You know, they bring it upon themselves but don't you find it hard to read those and feel as if they are trying to reach out to you?
No guilt whatsoever....She has no idea how much I could have been there for her. Maybe someday she will relearn, remember or whatever it is they do.
This is all her choice, so guilt?? No. Sadness for her and her family's loss? Yes.
She is still WAY too much into "ME mode" to make me feel like this is a reach out. She is nowhere near anything like that.
Even after all I have been through I still feel guilty or sad or whatever when stbx has something go wrong. Even now that he is living with someone else and I have moved on...I still have my moments.
My 20 year anniversary is in 7 days. Legally, I am still married as the paperwork is not signed. The tough part is we are still leagally married and he is living with another woman. That stings.
She is lost and this really isn't her fault, but really. What in the heck can or could I have did or done??
I just need to stay in a positive place and live my life. I need to be as kind as possible but wary of the beast that lies within. Stand my ground when needed and show her nothing but happiness. It's all I can do and the happiness is becoming easier.
I did the feeling bad, guilty thing for a long time. But I have finally (well, almost) realized what the heck do I have to feel guilty about? I didnt do anything wrong.
Yes, I know we have to take responsibility for our part in the breakdown of the marriage and I have, believe me, probably took way more blame than I should have.
But, I did not lie, cheat, ruin my h's finances, put him in emormous debt or hold a gun to his head (wait, where did that come from?). Anyway, you get my point.
So, I am with you Trapt, guilt - not so much anymore.
