Quote from AK: "Lucky- I actually don't see him as abandoning his children. I see him as falling short and into the model he was raised in. I think he is more emotionally available than his dad was and that helps to assuage his guilt. In his crowd, selfishness and narcissism reign so he measures up much better than many of his peers. Sad, I know. He is half-a**ing but he hasn't abandoned. IMO. Even with $, he is giving it, he just can't wrap his brain around order, a schedule, budgeting etc."
Abandoning. Falling short. Tomato. Tomato.
You are trying to take the high road and be understanding of who he is and what he is capable of based on his upbringing and his celeb-community. That is a good thing to do in your journey, so that you understand how you got here. But using his handicaps a an excuse to his failures? You are much more of a goddess than I.
Now let's get real.
Who was left with S6's tantrum last night? Who puts the boys to bed each night? Who spins porcupig stories and makes it all better? Who pulls the household together? Who figures out how to purchase food and clothes and shoes for the boys on a fragmented and sporatic income? Who is picking up the pieces all on her own?
Which innocent beings are going to suffer from abandonment issues (or "falling short issues," if that makes you feel better) in their relationships for the rest of their lives?
Who has chosen to chase a dream for himself at the cost of being home for his kids? Actually... He could have chased it and stayed living at home and sleeping in your bed with you, couldn't he? So, it's not even that it's hard to support his chosen dream. It's that he truly LEFT the home.
He abandoned his family so that he could have plenty of breathing room to do whatever he wants whenever he wants. He feebly tries to fill in the gaps with quick texts or gifts from his trips. He pretends to be the good guy.
So... I'm not sure how my conclusion that he has abandoned his children is inaccurate.
I need a different picture painted for me here to come up with different advice. One that doesn't illustrate your H's choices and escapades. One that doesn't illustrate the suffering of you and the kids.
