@ lunch in her new home she repeated how she shouldn't have had kids, how she doesn't fit "in the box" of the SAHM standard in our area, how she has nothing in common with the Juicy Coture Moms @ the school, how she feels lost and directionless and without a purpose in life.
I would run with this too. SP, Isn't one of the things you love about her are all her differences? Show her the things she sees as unlovable are the real things you love, appreciate and cherish about her. Let her know you will support her while she struggles internally - "how can I help?"
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.