@Gypsy - I have to confess I don't understand your last at all.
@everyone - unfortunately my room wasn't ready, so I'm still on the tiny. I'm having lunch @ a place WAW & I used to come to quite a bit back in the early 90's. It was odd - I was walking down the street and just sort of drifted in, not really making the connection until I'd actually sat down and ordered. Bittersweet.
During the F2F night before last, I reiterated my rejection of Herself's reasoning on the D, but that I understood that from her POV it was the least-most-painful COA. @ lunch in her new home she repeated how she shouldn't have had kids, how she doesn't fit "in the box" of the SAHM standard in our area, how she has nothing in common with the Juicy Coture Moms @ the school, how she feels lost and directionless and without a purpose in life. I validated, etc., reminded her that our deal was she wouldn't [u]have[u/] to fit in with the Juicy Moms - I'd do the lion's share of the kid stuff, and she'd be free to pursue her professional Self. Lots of "I knows" and "I don't knows" and "I just want to give ups."
For now I'm focused on the kids - the banshee creeps ever-closer. But it's increasingly clear that Herself is flailing in the darkness and needs to know there's not an empty chasm below her. But how to communicate that without rescuing, insulating her from her own Reality, or glossing over the fact that there must be consequences for decisions we make -- that's a head-scratcher.
