sooo...Again H becomes quiet. When I see him he looks miserable. Whatever, not my problem..right?
So the last week of May, H comes to pick up D8. Now, D8 told me daddy sleeps while she is there and she doesnt like going with him when he does. My biggest concern of what she told me was that daddy tells me to go ride bike outside and he will be out in a couple of minutes. Well, when she did , she got scared and went back in because there was a strange man outside. When she told me this, I DID ask H . My daughter is 8 and should never be riding a bike on the street by herself. I would never! Ok, so I told H as nicely as possible because he is very sensitive at this point.
He basically said his daughter is a liar. He didnt sleep and blah blah blah. Now, I know My H and he was sleeping. He sleeps alot H said D8 was outside alone for a couple of seconds. Well, I believe D8. He said he would TRY to be outside with her. I said well if he cant make sure, then she wont go. THen he said he would.
So when he came to pick her up, he was with attitude. D8 sensed it. When they left, they returned quickly. D8 did not want to go with him because "Daddy is mad because you believe me and not him" Poor D8. I spoke to H, he said believe whatever you want and stormed out. Left D8. I went after him. He again said I can't believe you don't believe me..I said ..oops..HOW COULD I, YOU HAVE LIED TO ME FOR 4 YEARS" probably not the best thing to say. He then gave me the middle finger.
So this past week he was supposed to pick her up..He send s me a text that he won't pick her up until this is resolved. So he sent me the following email:
Quote:
Kiki, first off I'm not angry at D8 or you, but I am very disappointed in both of you. Although I don't understand why D8 lies about me, I understand that she might be doing it to somehow garner some affection or something from you. I don't think you really want to hear about all that so I'm just going to move on to what my concerns are for the future.
I am D8's father. As her father I am just as concerned for her safety and development as you are. I can, without reservation, be trusted to protect her and provide for her. I go out of my way with her to not only show her love and affection, but help her develope as a child. I teach her things and spend time building her self esteem so that she can do things that she otherwise would say "I can't do that."
With that being said, this past week was extremely hurtful for me from both you and D8. I don't blame you for wanting to believe her, she is your daughter and you love her. However, what I do expect from you is your 100% support in front of her. When she complains or says something that she didn't like, you should tell her that I love her and that what I say goes while she is with me. I NEVER go against anything you say with her. I am 100% supportive of you with regards to her. I want to see her, but I am tired of how this is going. I don't need you questioning me and then laying down your rules on me "or else she isn't coming over." For you to insinuate that you cannot trust me with her safety is aboslutely rediculous. I carry a gun for a living and take care of people all day, every day. I know what is safe and what is not. I also know when someone can be given a little lee-way and when they cannot. I guess the bottom line is this - I am not interested in parenting D while you attempt to tie one of my arms behind my back. If you think you can do it so much better than me, then maybe its best for her if I just step aside and offer my financial support. This is not what I want. Whether you want to agree or not, D8 needs me in her life. I offer her alot of support and exposure to different things. She has learned and grown so much in the past two months its amazing. I want to continue to be a father to her. But, I will not do it while I have to worry about her saying something to you and then me having to justify it. I need you to tell me that I have your 100% support and that my rules at my house are fine. I need to know that when she is with me that you trust me with her and that no matter what nonesense she tells you, you will support me. I need you to tell me that your sorry for undermining me in front of her. I need you to tell me that when she is with me, I have 100% control of what is going on and that your ok with that. If you can't do this for me, then I don't really know how things are going to go. Obviously I miss D8 and want to see her. I will see her still. But my feelings as a man and a father have been seriously hurt Kiki, by both of you. I really do, whether you want to believe it or not, sacrifice so much and give my heart to her. I know you probably don't realize how big of a deal that whole scene was for me, but it's as big as it can get. I haven't been hurt like this since we separated. I really want you to tell me that things are going to change.
I hope this came off the way I intended. I'm not angry, just hurt. I hope you understand and can put yourself in my shoes and see things from my perspective. I love her very much and want to be her father. But you know me, and I need to be the kind of father I want to be. I felt, and feel, as though all the wind had been taken from my sails and that I really dont matter that much to either of you anymore.
So I responded saying I wanted to talk to him about it. He said
we would this past Sunday, but never did. D8 and I went to
Disney and on Sat. while eating ice cream in the middle of
Disney, she had a breakdown. She started crying and said MY
daddy doesnt want to see me. I was furious. she should never
have to deal with that. So I texted him and explained to him
what was happening.. He says he can't do anything
right..everything is his fault..we need family counseling and
he will pay for it. I thought that was great...PROGRESS!!
WEll, the next dat he texted and apolized to D8 and me for
being so difficult. Not to worry, he won't be like that again.
I said thank you and will make the family counsling appt. He
said..drum rolls please...No, we don't need it. It was me. I
