Thanks Phoenix. I guess one of the reasons that I am struggling with feelings about xh is because he started it. He reached out to me. He was emailing me daily telling me how he felt the need to be there for me. He came to the visitation and held me and cried with me and told me that he would never get over the guilt and regret for what he had done. He called me several times...and then right when I needed him he shut down. No contact. Not even a "how are you doing" when I saw him in the grocery store.
To be honest, I don't really feel anything anymore about the situation with xh. I am too exhausted to worry Yes, I wanted to talk to him but I realize he is no longer the person I fell in love with and married. The way he has behaved through this tragedy has made that abundtly clear. Why suck me back in only to ignore me?..THAT is what I don't understand.
As for the ADs, I will continue to take them until I see the dr which will be a couple more weeks. They make me anxious, although they do seem to help the depression. Anxious is better than the way I was feeling. I have an appointment with the counselor tomorrow.
