Newcomer, want to keep my hope alive!

[GH31]

Hi there,

I have read your situation and see quite a lot of similarities to my own.

There is one thing in particular that struck me:

I was putting some things on our calendar last night, and saw that she had new appointments set up to get a breast enhancement done. She had been talking about this for the past few months, and I was shocked when it came up then. Is this part of an MLC? Do I have MLC+WAW, or maybe they just go together?

and

I didn't say anything about that, but I know that got my anxiety up, and I slipped up later and asked again if she had an OM.

From being at this for 18 months and having spent hundreds of hours poring over different situations, I would be amazed if there was not an OM. Her reaction to your question is typical.

You do need to know for sure, but you will not find out the truth by asking her. All adulterers lie, therefore the way to find out if an affair is in progress is to verify independently. You will only make a bad situation worse if you confront your W.

Once you have determined the truth, keep the incontrovertible evidence of the affair, tell her calmly that you know and that you will not be leaving the house. And that's it.

Use the evidence at any court hearing to ensure that you daughter has nothing to do with OM, and that you can stay in the family home.

Continue to work on yourself - you must. This is an entirely different matter and one which you need to get a grip of.

GH31