Being an verbal / non-verbal abuser

[GH31]

Does anyone else here have experience with this? Have you been able to change your behaviors?

I was very verbally abusive in most of our marriage. I also grabbed and manhandled my wife twice on the street, as well as shouted at her shortly before she left me.

Yes, I have changed - practically purged it all from my repertoire of behaviours.

You can change too. It's a question not of capability but of motivation. I still get angry, and when my wife does something objectionable I simply react differently.

I would use this resource if you are serious about changing permanently: Psycho Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. Read it twice, make notes on it and do the 21 day exercise that he recommends to the letter.

I know what it is like to feel the crushing guilt that you have experienced.

You must change. If you do not, you will love someone again in the future and end up hurting them in precisely the same way.

There is of course much more to it than that. I will be very happy to share any more thoughts with you.

GH31