Originally Posted By: mnt_dreams
is there a part of you that wants to support his rock star dream... or was this a whim? If you used to be supportive, what changed do you think? How does H view your current position regarding following the tour, etc.? How do the kids feel about it?

Just curious if this is H's dream exclusively, or if it was something you guys talked about...


H always wanted it. I was sort of his rock, his voice of reason. I encouraged him and supported him and even pushed him to take risks and go for it. But, I always felt like a partner and a priority. Once kids came, my expectations increased some but I actually think that his issues with his parents really did a number on him and the guilt and longing that came with leaving were hard for him. And we really didn't have the money or resources for him to support his family and live that life but it only motivated him more...it has been an issue for a long time. After we separated briefly 6 years ago, I agreed to lower my expectations and accept him going out and really pursuing his career. In exchange, he would agree to be home a few nights a week and give me some predictability, even if it was on a week to week basis. He could not stick to that and I had to hound him. This doesn't mean he wasn't present because he was but he would not make any real agreements so my home life always felt chaotic and like now, I felt we were supposed to feel lucky if he chose us over a dinner or event. We also had a ton of turmoil, moving multiple times, taking huge financial hits, family drama and a lot of it he blamed on me (I pushed to sell a house we owned many years ago)...anyway, the dream was ours. I have always been a part of it but when everything started to fall apart and he got that drowning feeling, he couldn't stick by me, needed to fly the coup. There are also other issues but basically, I thought that we'd make it together.

The traveling and going for his dream, I could live with. The dropping the bomb on me, making it all my fault and leaving me in the dust and then hitting the road was a little much after all these years. And my kids processing him basically moving out and then traveling for months on end really blows.

BUT, I picked him (I was young blush) and I grew up here and I know the deal so I have to live with the consequences. I thought we would find a balance. I thought we could pull it off...