I know you want responses, and I've been trying to write something to you. But your situation is so alien to me, a H who is galavanting around the world with a rockstar, accepting gifts and collecting notes from famous actresses, while leaving his family to fend for themselves back in the real world....to me, in my mundane, housewife in the suburbs world, its just bizarre. I don't mean that as an insult. I'm just trying to explain why I can try to comment, but probably won't say anything of value.
I find you very self-aware. You do what you do by choice. So there is no point in telling you not to be a doormat to him, not to enable his extended adolescence. You could tell that to yourself, and you seem to, about half the time. Then you overrule it with the choice of loving him. So, as I see it, there you have it. You either choose to be his doormat and love him for it, or you choose to love yourself, which you haven't chosen yet. But you assure us that at some point you will change gears and love yourself. I hope you will do that. I am not a big fan of any rockstar, and I generally disrespect their lifestyle without knowing much about it.
