You'll never see me fall from grace

[Sugar and Spice]

Kat, Karen & Pup...thanks again.

Pup, the bad thing is he is not going to do it. I really have no reason to because he doesn't live here and so she and I have no contact. I have been very clear about one thing though, if she shows up over here at my house and in anyway presents a threat to me or my kids, its done. I will take whatever steps I need to in order to protect my children. I have made this CLEAR.

I don't think its so much becoming unhinged as it is willing to take it as far as she thinks she needs to go in order to get what she wants. I'm of the impression that this is the way she was raised and this is what she knows. She is the baby of the family and from the outside they look suspiciously like temper tantrums thrown by a petulant child whos sole purpose is getting her way. He mentioned that he pointed out to her that she got to do what she wanted to and it still wasn't good enough, her reply was, "Thats not the point." Of course not, the point is I want to do what I want and for you to do what I want as well. Its all about control. I also think she is terribly insecure and not really all well developed mentally/socially. If so then her natural filters would tell her that I am NOT the person to turn to for advice or sympathy in her self-created troubles. Even with H she takes absolutely no responsibility for the situation. She has told me more than once that this is all about him and she told him that this is situation is the way it is because that is the way he wanted it. She did nothing and its this way solely because of him and his actions.

I'm going to check in with my Dad because I want to have a few things straight in my mind before he does anything close to a B. I don't remember predicting it, but I am so glad now that I filed what I did. I look back now and kick myself for waiting so long to have done it.

We had lunch together today and I got upset about something. We argued and in the grand scheme of things I probably should have let it go, but it was the principle of the thing. Bottom line, he doesn't remember most of the things he has told me over the last 19 months and unfortunately for him, I have a very good memory. So I call him on things that he now comes clean about and I find out were lies, I don't know why I even let it bother me, but it still stings, you know? Its also very hard for me to "get over it" or "let it go" when he doesn't validate how I feel. He doesn't have to agree with me, but at least aknowledge that I'm feeling the way I do as a direct result of his actions. I mentioned that he treats me the same way his mother treats him and he denied it, but his demeanor changed after I said that. Lunch was a little tense and after I left he called me and we talked a bit about it. He said that we can't fight everytime we are together and I agreed. He said we need to pick our battles and I agree. The thing that made me smile a little though was this, "If we are really going to work on this, then we have to stop fighting so we can." It was nice to hear.