It's been a rough few weeks. I continue to feel anxious, sad, and hopeless. I am very frustrated with my sitch. Communication between my H are few and far between and when we do talk, my H is very angry and non-cooperative. It is very difficult for me to cope with. I want to smooth out the bumps we're having and he wants nothing to do with fixing anything between us.... I'm trying to accept it but I'm not doing well with it.
I went to Vegas with my sis & best friend. We had a great time! Got to see the sights and get some sun! But again, I kept having thoughts about my H and missed him. I had a lot of fun but still felt like there was a level of sadness I couldn't shake.
I deploy in several weeks. I either need to decide to let the L go through whenver it will or decide to put in place a military act to delay the D until I come back from deployment (12 mos). I need to pray about this a lot for the next few weeks....
I also know my H is returning from Iraq for break right before I deploying for 12 mos (he's been gone 6 months now) and he no desire to see me. I would like to see him and talk about our M - as we never talked about our M or the D in person before he left. But I'm sure he wlll not agree. It's hard for me to accept a M ending without talking about it in person. I guess it's another thing I need to try to accept.
I'm just having a rotten time coping with everything right now.
Me:28, first M H: 33, second M Married: 08/08 Bomb: 10/08 H filed D and deployed: 12/08 Served: 04/09 I deploy: 07/09 Hearing date: 08/09
