Confused, I think you are too hung up on going "dark" and do not fully understand the concept. Being dark is not having contact with them. How can you listen and show compassion if you are going dark? I think it would be better for you to think in terms of being emotionally detached. JMHO.
Looks like you missed that she seems to have been telling you to work on emotionally detaching, not going dark. They are very different.
