Thnaks everyone who responded and wished me a happy birthday...I am trying really hard to forgive in my heart so I can let go...when I think about him I wonder what he must think when he is all alone (not very often for they spend every waking moment together)but I am so jealous and mad. because she took my life over....the time in my life when I was going to semi-retire and live with my husband there....a place so peaceful and beautiful....no traffic....no noise...now she is living it and that makes me mad....now I am sick all the time....stomach problems....neck and shoulder aches and pains...I know I am not a young woman but this year has been bad as far as me being sick....but I AM GOING TO BE OK..I WILL GET OVER THIS PHYSICAL OF A MESS I AM...I WILL FEEL BETTER.going to dr and getting help I am sick of being sick....Pray for me and thanks again.
I have tried so hard to remain civil with my husband about child support,I think he is taking advantage of the fact that we only have a verbal agreement what he needs to help me with as far as child support..I know for a fact his G/F recently refinanced her home when they came down in May.At least 30k in equity...funny how we can find things out when we really want to. Anyways he has missed 2 months of c/s I have emailed him and texted him for help only 2 times not needy or anything like that Just stated that she needed some money... no answer from him at all, I dont think he ever calls our son either he is totally up her butt, big time I guess anything she says goes....our daughter has a trip and she needs spending money and clothes. He wont give us any until OUR DAUGHTER calls him....I think he should be kissing her behind for the stunt he tried.... trying to push her into our daughters life. I guess he thinks she owes him an apology? I am going to file with the state C/S I know they amount will go down alot since he has no job piddles here and there with mowers and such... but it is better than not getting anything... Sometimes I wish he would file for divorce at least then he wouldn't be my husband and drag our marriage thru the mud. Thanks for listening.I was just having a moment. It just seems God is blessing them right and left,a stress free life,and I am getting slammed with this and that. Any thoughts anyone? All thoughts are welcome... ya'll be blessed
They only appear to be having a stress free life for now. It will catch up w/them, just as you are suffering with the stress right now. Give them time....money does run and it surely does not grow on trees.
You do what you must to get your C/S. You are the adult right now and must take care of the financials for you and your child.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thank you for responding.Snodderly...but it sure does feel like they are having a really good time.....I just cant believe he is doing this, I dont care about me so much anymore...but I do about our daughter...it feels so unfair and yes I know life is unfair...but it makes me so mad......he never works.....she once in a while does....come and go as they please.....we never existed to him.....how much my heart hurts right now....you always give me good sound advice and your opinions....thank you do much
It does catch up to them. Life is meant to be lived responsibly, when you don't, there are many consequences to pay.
It is not all fun and games.
He would like you to believe that.
Take care of yourself so you can watch his karma catching up to him.
He is not worth your physical or emotional distress.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
I know he isn't....but I just can't help myself getting angry at his lifestyle....his selfishness....he acts like we dont exist....like he has control (and he does now) over when he will send us money....only he doesnt know how this is affecting our daughter..... I really am ok I do have a higher power on my side but I am only human and still get feelings of sadness...of how unfair it is .this is why I come in here to get you guys to talk to me even if it is only by this board. No matter what I am feeling when I get in here I always leave being blessed Because I know it had nothing to do with me....he chose this not me....he will have to pay for his choices with God and with his children...I pray they can forgive him one day gotta go to work have a blessed day in Jesus name and thank you all
Hi Snodderly....just looking for some advice on my MLC husband...we have had no contact what so ever with him...especially our daughter....she is not giving in or either has he...our son says he hardly ever talks to him either...he says they have nothing to talk about....they are like strangers.....just wondering if this is typical for an MLC'er....You are so nice to give your opinion on what could be going on with them....thank you for taking the time to post back to almost all of us....I read your post when you met your ex about your nephew and his problems years ago.... You are a ery strong woman I hope I can be like you one day.... Here I am 54 yrs old and saying that....ymay the Lord bless you everyday for all you do...
I, Your mlcer is still very much into himself. He's not ready to have any kind of relationship w/his children, but when he does, he will most likely choose the one that will not question his actions. Which child is easier to manipulate?
Yes, he is like a stranger to them. Heck he's a stranger to everyone who knew him previously. After all, he's acting out and is most likely the same person he was as a boy, long before you knew him. Your children do not know how to relate to him because they are still "seeing" him as their father and not someone totally different. Once they understand that he's different in every way, then they may be able to relate to him....but a lot will depend upon him contacting them. Your children are not stupid and know that what he's doing isn't right.
BTW, don't worry too much about the no contact. When he needs something, he'll contact you. I've not seen one who hasn't needed something along the way.
Take care.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Snodderly I knowyou have seen much on these boards....but what percentage would you say that MLC'er ever came back home.....as much as I would love my husband to come back I am not ready mentally or spiritually because he is so different.I dont know him anymore and the person he has become, I dont like very much....just wondering from all you have seen in here....I pray one day I will ready in every way....because I know he will be wounded and hurt because,Iblieve a person does reap what they sow...and it is going to hurthim like it did for me.....funny thing but I wouldnt want that to happen to him.Thank you for your thoughts....
