Hi Renee, you asked me to stop by your thread. I read your first post when you came on board. If I did post to you as you thought.......I wonder if I was not very nice? The reason I say that is b/c I have zero tolerance for a man who even hints at being like your H, and frankly......I find it very hard to understand why a wife would put up with him.

The point I am making is that I believe it is critical that a LBW has tons of self-respect, high self-esteem,.....and gallons of old-fashion spunk! I'm not saying you do or don't b/c all I read was a post of two from the beginning. However, why do I get this feeling that you have allowed your XH to talk anyway he wants and gets by with it? Why do I feel that you run to him, chase him, and would roll over and do tricks if you thought you'd get him back? I am not trying to see how mad I can make you toward me.....even if it sounds as if I am. I am hoping to get a response from you that will tell me how wrong I am. Although, if I make you good and mad at "him"....that will be worth it!

You see, it only took your short post on my thread to make me think that he was a bully, but when I read your original post on the board, that confirmed it. I am sure he went through a difficult time in the job changes, etc. However, just by the way you said he treated you and talked to you......I couldn't believe you would continue to take that cr@p! You deserve better than that.....don't you think? He sounds like the worst, most arrogant man in the world.....but I'm sure he is just a number amoung many MLC/WAS.

So, tell me why are you still itimate with him? Why do you allow him to treat you like dirt and brag about how many other women he has slept with--and then YOU have sex with this man? Aren't you afraid of getting some disease? There is cake eating.....and then--there is CAKE EATING!!!

I don't know if you have always "spoiled" him or if that was his natural "personality" but he needs to change it or you need help in dropping the rope and moving on with your life. Don't let anybody do you as low down as he has, sweetie! Why or how did you get to this place of such low self-esteem? Have you been this way the entire time you were M to him or did it start later? It really bothers me (as you can tell) for a man to rough-shod over a woman and her lay down and take it......and ask for more....like you have. frown Have you ever received any type of counseling? If not, I hope you will seriously consider it.

I know that I am being very blunt and you did ask me to come by, but I am just blown away by what little I have read. Tell me what you have done to feel better about "Renee" since the D. What do you do to GAL? I know that you are still too focused on him and you'll continue to be until you drop the rope.

Dropping the rope would be the best thing that ever happened to him.....and for sure....YOU. Again, I am not trying to be sarcastic, but hoping you will understand that you will never draw him back by allowing him to walk all over you and disrespect you like he has. What has the longest period of time been that you have not made some type of contact with him? What do you feel you could do in order to stay busy and keep from contacting him first and just see if he would contact you?

If I am as wrong as sin, I will gladly apologize and I hope you will say that I am b/c that will mean you have some "fight" in you and won't let another person treat you like I think he is doing. It is hard to understand how anybody could continue to love another person who thinks so little of them.

I did see where you seemed concerned (too much) if he would be called a WAS or in MLC. The two are very similar, but for sure he is a WAS! Right? So, what if he is in MLC? Would that make a difference in where you stood? You see, even if we are not to believe everything they say to us......if you don't stand up for yourself and have some dignity, he will never respect you or want you. Having sex and he won't "allow" kissing?? Are you kidding me? The nerve of him! That is nothing more than a "booty call".

Please, do not continue to take this treatment off this man or anybody else. If you don't think more of yourself than that, why should he think more of you?

You may be sorry for inviting me to come by, but I have to be honest with you where I see this.....and it is not good. It could be.....if you would change. However, "he" will never change if you don't. But, let me back up and say this before you misunderstand me.......when you change....it is not to get him back...it is strickly for "Renee" and nobody else. There may be a chance that he would open his eyes and see the gal he wanted to be with.....if he really believed he could not have her! But, doesn't he know he can have you whenever he crooks his finger? Tell me I'm wrong.

I hope you will. Don't you think it's time and don't you think you deserve better? He told you to leave him alone b/c all he wants is peace. So, why dcn't you give him what he wants?

Check on you later,
Sandi

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!