John, You have let this go on for long enough...nothing will change if you do nothing. You have pictures of the OM truck at your W apartment and your daughter has seen his personal information on her computer. You have enough to go talk to your CC again and ask for advice and see if you have enough to start an investigation...your Shirt can do this with no problems. Bet money that her shop knows what is going on. Exposure is the best option you have left. The exposure will end the A...if you do not do this she will not stop. I am not trying to push you into anything you have not thought out but you are not using a tool you have that many do not. The exposure for a SNCO and an officer is not good...you should have already done something.
Why are you still taking her phone calls and talking about vacations, travel, etc...she is not going to do all that she is saying...bottom line is she will run out of money and credit sooner vs later living like this. She is not "getting" anything because you have not done anything...her words are right out of the book on WW rewriting your life...you should not have talked to her anyway...it will just make it harder for you.
Phoenixdeux has probably given you the best advice you will ever get from anyone..."it's not as easy as that anymore"
Go see your CC and Shirt, the lawyer, make sure your D is taken care of always, stay away from the booze, keep your logbook current with what W is doing and saying with D. All WW say the right thing to you until they get a lawyer. Fix your money issues and get ahead on bills...your W will soon stop paying what you think she will pay.
Your clue is how your D is being treated and or ignored. Your W has done nothing to give you any indication that she is remorseful. Not to you and not to your daughter...if you do not do something then you should not expect this to end any other way than you divorced, a part time dad, low on money, and W married to OM (this one or another) if you still want to save this marriage you must end the affair by exposing. Your lawyer can help you with CS and other bills...hopefully enough to keep your house. You should be working this everyday and not waiting for your W to see if OM will leave his W for your W. Do not discuss this with your W or her family...no threats, just do it! And say nothing...if your W calls ask if she want to talk to D (better is to have her call D cell...still do not know why she keeps calling you other than to keep you hoping until OM commits and she files for D in the hopes you will not tell her CC).
Sorry it this was too forward or rude...you have done nothing for way too long so don't expect her to "see the light"...expose, get as much CS as you can to care for D and then work on M.
