It can take years with teenagers. My fathers death coincided with my 12th birthday. The age mixed with the events is very profound. Yes, the separation is contributing. Can you take the mental space for yourself? Sort of DB with your daughter... Really, just let her know and see by your actions that you are there, consistent etc.
BTW- 4 months is NOTHING and there is no normal yet (as illustrated by your vacation dilemma). More time. Sorry, but I think it can actually be a good thing for you. You can't fix this for D12. You've got to try to relax.
I get what you're saying aliveandkicking. It's just been hard losing my wife the way I did, and then feeling like I lost my youngest daughter too!
Maybe so! I think this broken family affects them, while my wife thinks they are just fine with it. Yeah...I've never thought about DB'n with my daughter. I really have shown her, consistently and by my actions, that I am there. I'll continue to do it. It just hurts like a mutha when she treats me like she does.
I know that 4 months, in the scheme of things, isn't very long...although it feels like forever with me. More time...probably much more! I'll try to make it good for me. Relax...I'll work on that! I can't fix it for her? Just relax and stay strong and consistent, and give her plenty of room and time?
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Really, just let her know and see by your actions that you are there, consistent etc.
