From a man's perspective you will have to draw the line. and take responsibility for your own happiness. This is hard, but you have to be interesting, different, mysterious, sexy, and giving him space all at the same time. Don't show him affectionate love if he is not ready to receive it. Be willing to change, if you are controlling, stop!, change yourself, deal with the issue at hand, Read the Divorce remedy by Michelle...
Hmmm...Thanks for all of the advice. I've been reading DB and DR every night and can't seem to find things that apply to my sitch. I always HAVE taken responsibility for my own happiness. Maybe that is why I'm not making the best DB choices. I think that is part of the problem. He says that I acted more like an "I" in the marriage than a "We" and I think he "lost himself" in our marriage, always trying to please me and everyone else instead of himself. Now it's all about HIM. I'm a very successful professional with my own career and he tells me how proud he is of me. We have had such an emotionally chaotic relationship in the past few months b/c he lashes out at me verbally, has no patience with me or our son, has a sleep disorder, and in all likelihood has depression. Not a good mixture of things. I wish I could just shut up most of the time. Working hard at listening more, keeping myself busy, GALing, doing the AS IF thing. Since he always criticized me for putting work, career, and hobbies before him, I've been trying to spend more time with him. That goes against pulling back though right? I'm so confused.
Me 39, H 41 M 17, T 21 Son, 4 Bomb 2.09, Two EAs Separated 8.4.09 My Long Story and First Postings
