Mrs. SP: I agree that it will be horrible for them initially. I know you've read a lot but a lot of the people I have spoken to whose parents were divorced do not feel that way....DHRGF's parents were divorced and, yes, she got a divorce and so did Long-Time Girlfriend, whose parents were also divorced. But they are happy people with full lives. Even Writer-Actress Friend, who did NOT want the divorce, says her kids are doing fine...I'm not trying to sugar coat it, but I don't think we know what is going to happen over the next year, let alone 25 years down the road. I wouldn't have objected to my parents divorcing if it made either ONE of them EVER told me that they loved me or made me feel like they did. We all live with repercussions from our childhood; I live with feeling unlovable. And our kids hear and feel love from both of us every single day.
SP: Our two points are not mutually exclusive; the fact that one is adjusted and happy - given the adjustment - doesn't mean one isn't in some way haunted by the legacy, that it doesn't inform one's life in a myriad of unknowable ways. For example, how happy and full would Long-Time Girlfriend's life be had there been family stability? ... And I'm sorry you feel yourself to be unlovable. I've always found you to be quite the opposite.
Cluebird1 to SierraPapa "look for the doors to her heart, I say again look for the doors to her heart." "I live with feeling unlovable." If your closest friend were to say that would you let the conversation go on any further without getting to the bottom of that? "I live with feeling unlovable." Your beloved, the woman you have vowed to love, honor and cherish. The woman you have been married to for years and years tells you she feels unlovable and that's all you got? "I live with feeling unlovable." Why do you feel that way? Tell me more......... I understand how I might have contributed to that.......... How can I help you with that?.......
Listen to the woman and reach out to her.
You are ignoring the first lines of the song. (cue Muddy Waters): Got my mojo working but it just won't work on you Got my mojo working but it just won't work on you I want to love you so bad I don't know what to do
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
